Gift Wrapped
by Saotome Kyuubi
Summary: Kunoichi Christmas party, Male Shinobi Christmas party. Punch, giftwrappings and a diabolical scheme by a devious Jonin who likes to dance naked around the tree. Poor Naruto won't even know what hit him. NaruxHina


Disclaimer: I do **NOT** own Naruto. Kishimoto Masashi does…

"spoken"

_-thought-_

**Gift Wrapped**

Naruto entered the hall cautiously as he'd been 'ordered' the infamous Jiraiya to take part in what he called 'The Grand Christmas Party for Male Shinobi'. Apparently there was another party for the Kunoichi, presumably to keep the aforementioned Jiraiya from molesting the more 'merry' kunoichi… this probably meant Anko who had a bad habit of getting totally hammered and dancing butt naked around the tree.

And as such Naruto was not very keen to go to the party, sure it would be neat to see the male members of the Rookie nine, sans Sasuke who was still somewhere doing the Kami-knew what with his freaky master. _-I've always been slightly worried about that teme… he didn't seem to care even if the girls threw themselves at him. And Ero-sennin is adamant about Orochimaru-teme swinging that 'other' way… ugh disgusting mental pictures…-_

Luckily several flashy ornaments saved him from being permanently scarred by the image of Orochimaru, Sasuke and a pale idol singer that had a rumoured child fetish. The two large ornaments were green with plenty of red garland that was wrapped around the hanging objects, there were also shiny teeth and… "Fuzzy brows? And… Super-Fuzzy brows too?... Wha… what the hell are you guys doing up there?"

Lee simply struggled against the red ribbon that was tied tightly against him as Naruto screamed. Maito Gai on the other hand snaked his hand from its bindings and did the 'Good guy' pose, complete with the pinging teeth that the now freaked out Naruto had mistaken for glitter. "Yosh Naruto-kun… that is a very good question. As you know my most brilliant Rock Lee is a master of the Sui-ken and unfortunately the ever youthful Jiraiya gave him a mug of the punch that he'd aptly named 'Goken'.

Naruto blinked before nodding in comprehension before he began to wonder. "So err… why are you up there Gai? I mean I've seen you drink alcohol without any complications… I was after all the judge in your recent Sake-Sake/Dance-Dance Revolution challenge with Kakashi." At this the Jonin turned Christmas decoration snaked his hand free from the binding again and gave Naruto another thumbs up… or down depending on how you looked at it.

"My most hip rival Kakashi saw his opportunity and blindsided me. I'm most pleased to see that my other shining pupil Hyuuga Neji assisted him in this most youthful endeavour…" The blonde nodded again and was about to speak when 'Super-fuzzy-brows' continued. "Hanging here is a most educating experience and besides… if my most magnificent Rock Lee can do this, so can I… and if I can't then I'll do 5000 jumping jacks and if I can't do that… Naruto-kun are you listening?."

Naruto just blinked before looking at the Jonin and saying. "Huh Gai did you say something?" After that the blonde lazily wandered away from the crying man who was cursing Kakashi for teaching his 'hip and cool' ways to his pupils. Naruto simply grinned while thinking. _-What do you know it works after all. I've got to tell Kakashi no hentai about this…-_

Soon after he was nearing the punch bowl… the blonde had to dodge a bone and the following horse sized dog-missile that flew after the said bone, but other than that there was very little trouble. Neji had just smirked when the fox boy had given him the thumbs up for tying up Gai and Shikamaru simply considered moving too troublesome and as a proxy Chouji had ignored everything in favour of the Christmas buffet. Naruto's troubles really started when he noticed the two persons who were standing strategically next to the punch bowl… a very drunk Jiraiya and almost equally laid back Kakashi. The blonde sweat dropped and tried to make a stealthy retreat only to be foiled by a polite "Ah Naruto… I see you are here at this social meeting as well…!"

Naruto tried to shush his socially inept team mate but it was too late. A loud yell of "Narutoh… mysh besths shtundenthsss." crushed any hope of escape for the blonde. It was followed by a more relaxed. "Yo Naruto… this is a first… you are somewhere later than I am. I'm glad to see you are finally beginning to see the light." The blonde in question simply groaned as his two senseis grabbed him by the shoulders and started pouring the 'hard stuff'.

-----

"Come on cheer up… bottoms up and down the hatch." The special Jonin Mitarashi Anko yelled at her long time drinking buddy Yuuhi Kurenai while pushing yet another glass of punch towards her.

Kurenai's female pupil Hyuuga Hinata sighed as she pulled the glass and downed it in synch with the Jonin who'd offered the glass. For some reason this really did seem to cheer up her sensei who was still devastated by the death of her boyfriend… and the father of the child that was growing within her… Asuma. For her part Kurenai simply smiled as Hinata intercepted another glass of punch that was meant for her… Anko knew full well that she was pregnant but still kept pushing more and more alcohol… obviously she was trying to get the Hyuuga heiress drunk. Something that was proving to be a rather difficult task… the teenager seemed to have quite the capacity.

The Genjutsu specialist had already decided that she would help her one time pupil to get the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. When she'd first learned about her crush she'd been mortified that her charge would want to be associated with the demon bastard… she was ashamed that she'd let the opinion of others and complete hearsay influence her opinion at the time. Then she'd observed the boy at the Chuunin exams and later at several occasions and had come to the conclusion that Uzumaki Naruto was a far cry from a demon. Still her decision to help Hinata to 'snare' her fox was only recently cemented at Asuma's funeral where Naruto had bluntly, if kindly, asked if the bearded Jonin was the father. Apparently he could 'sniff out' or as he put it 'see' pheromones that humans excluded… something that he'd attributed for the fox.

His kind words and selfless promise to help in whatever way he could had reminded Kurenai so much of the aura of kindness that the late Yondaime had… and with the blonde hair and blue eyes the kid was almost like… _-Nah… couldn't be if he was the Yondaime's heir there'd be a horde of girls and women after him. The Uchiha traitor wouldn't have had a snowballs chance in hell with any girls if Naruto really was a 'mini-Yondaime'…-_

Kurenai was suddenly brought back to reality when the usually so very shy Hyuuga girl suddenly asked. "Ano… I was thinking… I mean there is this…" She stopped and downed another glass of the punch that was provided by a now grinning Anko. "I mean there is this boy that I… and I just… I don't even know if he likes me." Hinata then gulped down another before blurting out. "He thinks I'm a weird, dark and shy girl…" The girl almost sobbed before brightening again. "But he said he likes a person like me."

Anko grinned like madman, gave a wink to Kurenai and grabbed Hinata's hand. "Now you listen to me girl… that knucklehead doesn't know jack about girls… he's so dense that it's almost painful even if he probably could kick our combined asses… the only Genin I confess could probably wipe the floor with me. Anyways here's what you will do…" Another round of punch was downed as the special Jonin unravelled her diabolical plan.

-----

Hinata was staggering as she giggled to herself. She allowed herself a slight fantasy where had the courage to do what Anko had suggested… another giggle escaped her lips before she came to a grinding halt. An all night store was advertising a Christmas decorations sale... ribbons at half the price. The girl blinked, turned to stare at the heavens and then said out loud "Ah to the hell with it." before barging into the store to buy some gift wrappings.

Naruto on the other hand was now happily drunk despite having suffered the blubbering crying of his perverted senseis over the loss of seeing Anko dancing naked. Regardless he was in a jovial mood and hummed slightly to himself while seeking his keys. With a slight "Ah…" he pulled out the key and opened the door, promptly tossed his jacket on the couch and strode towards the bedroom while struggling to drop his pants. Then there was a loud yell of "Hi… Hi… Hinata???" followed by some giggling and an evil cackle.

-----

As morning came Hinata stretched languidly and buried her face to Naruto's manly chest. She inhaled the foxboy's scent before suddenly stiffening. _-Wha… wha… wha… N… Na… Naru… Naruto-kun… He, I, We… Oh my god did I gift-wrap myself and he… and then we… and oh my… we, I… we had sex. I HAD SEX WITH NARUTO-KUN…-_ With her face flaming the girl gave her partner a tight squeeze as if to reassure herself that she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't as the boy snorted in his sleep and hugged Hinata back. The Hyuuga heiress smiled happily into the boys chest before thinking. _-This is the best Christmas ever… I just hope that father won't try to kill Naruto-kun-_

Momentarily the boy woke up from a nice, and rather risqué dream that had featured a certain indigo haired girl. Naruto blinked several times as he noticed that there was a certain indigo haired girl in his bed… he pinched himself a few times, bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood before he ascertained that, yes there was a Hyuuga Hinata… a naked Hyuuga Hinata in his very bed. Naruto chuckled, drawing a squeak from the girl, before flipping her over so that she was straddling him. The smirking boy ran his hand along the girl's side and cupped her breast causing Hinata to gasp and blush at the same time. There was a quiet mumble of "Naruto-kun…" that was quite rudely interrupted by the said boy.

Naruto gave Hinata's breast another squeeze before saying. "So you are still here?" Before the girl could answer he continued. "Last night was totally awesome… I mean wow…" Hinata began to turn into a good semblance of a tomato when the blonde beneath her spoke again. "Still… it would have been better if it'd been Ino or Tenten… heck even Sakura would've been better…" The girl was mortified, hurt and started to cry while trying to get away from the boy. Naruto didn't let go though and continued to knead Hinata's breast. "Still I'd say you are pretty good for a chakra construct…"

Hinata suddenly stopped struggling and blinked away her tears before muttering. "Chakra-construct…? Ano… Naruto-kun… I…"

The boy waved her off. "Yeah right you are not a chakra construct right? Hahahaha… I mean honestly. The jig is up now… OI ERO-SENNIN…" Nothing happened and the boy frowned. "Meh… is this Kakashi no hentai then? I was drunk last night when they made me drink… hmm Did he nail me with the Sharingan then I wonder." His partner shivered as the boy gave another squeeze to her breasts before talking again. "I admit that I fell for you last night but I mean come on… you have to give it up now."

The girl simply looked puzzled with an expression that said 'Say what?' and so Naruto elaborated. "I mean honestly… Ino or Tenten would have been more believable… especially if they knew about my old man then there would be a chance for me with them. But Hinata… we're talking about the second runner up for the sexiest kunoichi in Konoha. Hah… Neji almost slaughtered everyone when he found out that Hinata-chan was in the contest."

Naruto then let his hands wander around Hinata before stating proudly. "I mean seriously a body to kill for… not to mention that she's nice… and the heiress of Konoha's most prestigious clan. Yeah and I think I heard some guys saying that she's Konoha's most eligible bachelorette." The blonde frowned. "So seriously this is the only real problem with this Genjutsu. I mean sure if people knew that I was the Yondaime's son I might actually gain a fanclub… but then again it's not like people care. All they see is Kyuubi no Yoko when they look at me… never mind that I'm the son of very same guy who died sealing the fucking fox into me. So ask yourself would Hinata really gift-wrap herself for a lousy Jinchuuriki…"

Hinata's lavender eyes were now as wide as dinner plates as she tried in vain to assimilate the information. _-Kyuubi… Naruto-kun is the Yondaime's son… father would so approve… Jinchuuriki… what's that? Jinchuuriki… Jinchuu… A host… a living vessel that imprisons…-_ She blinked several times before letting out an astonished. "You are… I mean you… You imprison the nine-tails?"

Naruto on the other hand simply brushed several strands of hair from the girls face and snickered. "Like you didn't know that Kakashi… or is this Jiraiya's doing… nah I'm betting on the Sharingan… could be that bastard Itachi too but I doubt his 'Tsukuyomi' would be quite this pleasant. "Meh anyway if you want to play it that way then just look down." At that the boy began to channel his chakra and as a result the spiral seal began to form at his stomach… the boy smirked as 'Hinata' gasped before saying. "You haven't seen anything yet." With that he began to pull out Kyuubi's chakra, his eyes turning deep crimson as thick tendrils of red chakra began to pour out from his body and swirled around. "And now you go… POOF!"

Hinata squealed in fright as the crimson chakra washed over, and through, her leaving her slightly disoriented due to the sheer amount of chakra that did so. She was in awe of the power as Naruto had easily released more chakra than Tsunade-sama could put up in a day… and the boy under her didn't even look winded… he did, however, look very puzzled. "Eh… I was sure that the Genjutsu would break… I mean I have no ability with Genjutsu because it's a 'subtle' thing but I know sure as hell how to break one." Suddenly the boy paled. "You are a Kage Bunshin…" Hinata suddenly found herself flung at the bed as the boy backed into a corner while shivering. "Please don't tell me you are that crazy snake woman's bunshin… pleaaaassseeee."

This was finally too much for Hinata and she burst out laughing at the boy. "Naruto-kun… it really is me… I mean… I was uh… at the kunoichi party last night and… well Anko-sempai… ano the 'crazy snake woman' told me that uh… I mean because there is this boy that I like and… she said… and then… that I should… so I…"

Naruto just sweat dropped before tentatively walking next to the bed. "Uh… Hinata?" As the girl shyly nodded the blonde rubbed his hair in embarrassment. "Ah… are you going to scream now? Throw things at me and stuff because I mean…" When he said that his face turned sad. "I mean because of the Kyuubi and stuff…"

He didn't have time to lament much as a blushing Hinata suddenly embraced him softly and whispered. "…Naruto-kun… I… I'm sorry I didn't know if I had… I would've been there more for you… if you want I'll always be here…"

She squealed again as now widely grinning, if quite blushing, Naruto flung her on the bed before jumping next to her and holding her tight. There was a soft whisper of "I've always wanted to just hold someone…"

A few moments later…

Well… maybe just a few more moments later…

Okay… a many sweet, passionate and sweaty moments later a very happy Hinata was snuggling against her long time crush before mumbling. "Naruto-kun… that was amazing… especially that 'Tongue Tsunami'… where did you learn stuff like that."

Naruto nuzzled her neck before saying. "Well… I did train with the 'Legendary Jiraiya'… and that old pervert made me study that stuff." He felt the girl stiffening and added hastily. "I never let him drag me to any of the red light districts… if you can believe that. Last night was actually my first and all that." Suddenly it was Naruto's turn to stiffen. "Ack… Hinata we didn't use any… I mean what if you get… P-P-P-pregnant…"

Hinata stiffened too before thinking about her sensei and the new life that was growing inside her. She snuggled a little closer before whispering. "I don't care… if it's you… and I… if I do get… you know… and you don't want to… I won't blame you although I think that… I think that you would make a great father Naruto-kun…"

She was shocked when the boy suddenly began to wail like a banshee and literally ran up the wall. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah… Father… Father… I'm going to die… Hinata's dad is going to murder me… WAAAAAH…" Hinata giggled at the display causing Naruto to lose balance and fall from the ceiling where he was creating a veritable torrent of tears. "Waah… Hinata-chan… please tell me that he won't find out… I mean he's going to kill me for touching his daughter and we haven't even been on a date yet. And Neji… Kami he's going to castrate me slowly… I'm gonna die…"

At this time 'Hinata the shy Hyuuga' was replaced by 'Hinata the future ruler of her clan' as she smiled rather evilly. "Well… Naruto-kun… you have about two days before my next training session with father… there are several chakra coils in the…" Suddenly the shy girl raised her head again as Hinata blushed. "I mean down there that are inactive if you are and if you… then they activate and…" She blushed even more furiously. "Father will be angry but I'll… I'll help you Naruto-kun… and you could always just elope with me..."

The blonde just blinked and said. "Two days huh? Well in that case uh… would you like to go get some Ramen or something?"

-----

A blonde boy was running so fast he seemed almost like a blur… when he was suddenly stopped by a bored looking man with a face mask and silvery hair. "Yo Naruto… what's the hurry. Didn't anyone tell you that you are supposed to take things easy during the holidays?." The blonde didn't answer but squirmed free of Kakashi's grasp and bolted. Kakashi just blinked his visible eye and continued to read his Icha-Icha Paradise when there was a sudden flare of killing intent. It was a close call, even for the Jonin, as Kakashi used Kawamiri to substitute himself with a nearby trashcan as a flurry of Jyuken blows demolished the trashcan. Kakashi blinked again as the enraged Hyuuga leader stared at the abused bin. The lazy Jonin quipped. "Yo… Hiashi-dono what's going on? Did the boy pull a prank on the Hyuugas or what happened?"

Kakashi dodged another blow and responded to Hiashi's "You are his teacher, you take responsibility." with a lazy "Mhhh… well I was his teacher… but he's spent the last three years with Jiraiya you know." With that the black haired man froze and then bellowed "You are going to die Jiraiya…" before stalking off to find the elusive blonde and one soon to be mutilated super pervert. Kakashi stared after the man, said "Hmmmm I wonder…" before turning another page on his book and giggling slightly. -_Ohh Junko and Shinobu are bathing… mmmh Jiraiya sure knows his stuff, I hope Hiashi doesn't kill him so much that he will be unable to write more… wait that didn't make any sense oh well.-_

As things would have it Jiraiya was at the top of the Hokage monument, using his telescope to peep at the hot springs. His 'research' was interrupted when a wailing blonde suddenly latched to his leg and began to beg for his life. The old man blinked in surprise when another person entered the scene. The Hyuuga head pointed his finger at the duo menacingly and said in a dread voice. "You two are going to… die."

Jiraiya, now utterly confused, didn't have a chance to say anything as the blonde still attached to his legs wailed. "I'm innocent… I was young… impressionable and he made me do all those things... he corrupted me..." The white haired toad hermit was bewildered now, but didn't have time to react when a massive Kaiten threw both him and Naruto off the cliff. Hiashi huffed and walked closer to the cliffs edge to see his handiwork when a voice said behind him. "He'll survive I think…"

The man whirled around to see another blonde, then turned to watch the two figures still plummeting towards the ground. He then turned to the blonde again and spoke. "So are you or is he a Kage Bunshin? Impressive…" Apparently the slighted father's anger had been drained slightly, well the murderous anger had passed at pummelling of the old pervert. "You've caused some tumult in our clan boy… And what makes you think I'll let a nobody like you anywhere near my daughter."

Naruto just shrugged. "Well… you could really go ask Baachan… I mean Tsunade…" Hiashi blanched slightly at the casual nickname for the Hokage. "What my name really is… You know, or you should know that it sure as hell isn't Kyuubi and it isn't Uzumaki either… Anyway I'll give you a hint since it is like a big secret and all that. Were standing near my old man's head right now."

Hiashi froze completely as he tried to figure what the blonde meant… or rather what he was implying. There was only one logical explanation and that was that Naruto was indeed related to the very man who'd sealed the monster in him. Suddenly his usually stoic features melted into a sinister smirk as he began to think of the possibilities…

He locked eyes with the boy once more and said. "I'll take this up with the Hokage-sama presently… if you spread misinformation to save your hide not even Tsunade-hime or that monster that is in you can keep you from facing heaven's retribution." With that the older man teleported away in a poof of smoke causing the boy turn his eyes towards the Hokage tower. There was a mutter of "OH SHIT…" before the 'boy' ran hard against a tree to vanish in a cloud of smoke.

-----

Tsunade was busy, she was really doing something, planning the Kunoichi New Years party with Anko, Kurenai and the Suna envoy Temari , when the door to her private study was rudely slammed open and the towering presence of Hyuuga Hiashi filled the doorway. Without sparing the rest of people even as much as a glance he simply locked eyes at the Hokage before speaking. "Hokage-sama… I'm here to verify something and I was told that you could verify the information in question. I just had a… chat with Uzumaki Naruto and he claimed that his name is not his own… that he…" At this he glanced at the others in the room. "…is related to…" His eyes flicked slightly towards the Hokage monument that was visible through the window. "…to him."

Hiashi was, if anything, observant and certainly the Hokage's reaction to his words proved that the boy had indeed been telling the truth. Then again it didn't really take a genius to tell that the buxom blonde kunoichi was upset as she had crushed a clay bottle of sake in her fist. Hiashi smirked and bowed slightly towards the woman before leaving the gathered Kunoichi stare at their leader in wonder.

After Hiashi had left and Tsunade's mumbled curses had quieted down a little there was another interruption as something suddenly moved under the Hokage's desk. Thinking that an assassin was afoot the women jumped back and drew various weapons only to relax when a rather embarrassed looking Naruto crawled from his hiding place. He was instantly nabbed by the scruff of his neck by Tsunade and shaken like a small kitten by the woman who was pressing him for details. "Gaki…why the hell did you tell what you told to Hiashi… WHAT PART OF NEED TO KNOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND???"

Naruto rubbed his ears and whined. "But baachan…" He was then slammed to the wall by the woman who growled. "He was trying to kill me… honest I had to do it to save my life."

Temari and Anko both smirked at the boy thinking what he'd done to set Hiashi off… Tsunade on the other hand was far from amused. "What did you do you brat… pulled a prank on him? Or did that pervert rub off to you so much that you went and tried to molest his daughters?"

At the mention of daughters Naruto suddenly blushed like mad but still denied vehemently that he was innocent. "All I did was open my present… I didn't molest anyone… And I was drunk because Kakashi and Ero-sennin made me drink with them… I'm innocent…"

There was a slight gasp from Kurenai at the mention of presents while Anko got a predatory look at her eyes and began to stalk the boy with a wicked smile on her lips. She slunk behind the boy and purred into his ear. "Soo… you opened your present hmm… was it soft hmmm… tasty yessss? You know I gave her that idea hmmmh… I want details…" Naruto turned redder and redder before he couldn't take it anymore and nodded before bolting leaving Anko rolling on the floor laughing her ass off, Kurenai smiling slightly, a confused Temari and a very confused Tsunade. The Hokage blinked several times before asking "Did I miss something?"

**The End**

Author's rant:

Well, here's a little something for the holidays. If you read this do review please.

And if you are wondering where the hell is the next update for Awakening of the Slumbering Beast then… know that a horrible fate befell my hard drive as it broke down taking 3 chapters of AotSB with it.

Ta ta and Happy Holidays

S. Kyuubi


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